Cross-Country Solo Move: 5 Lessons I Learned Along the Way
- Anita Amon
- Apr 4
- 7 min read
You know that thing you've always wanted to try, but keep finding reasons (and excuses) for why it's not the time?
Yeah, that was me too.
But almost two weeks ago, I packed what I could in my Hyundai Santa Fe, my husky, and two cats and drove over 2000 miles to where I'm calling home for the next 18 months.
Let me rewind and give you some backstory if you're new to my blog.
In November 2023, I broke off my engagement to my boyfriend of five years. Before you frown, girl, no, it was liberating.
A few weeks before we were going to elope, I had what was one of those whispered moments from God telling me to step the fuck up. The toxic cycles? They're no longer for me and are NOT my burden to carry.
I took a year after that to heal, to let go of anger, to elevate, get two master's degrees (because the break-up glow-up is real), and figure out where I wanted to go from there.
I had been looking at my new home state for a year prior. There was always this little whisper in my mind telling me to go, see, explore, and test out what it's like to live there.
Though I wanted to go, I wondered if I was running from my problems or being called to go.
I visited ONCE and decided... Yes, it's time to make the move.
Ten months after visiting this state, and not the area I currently live in, running on blind faith and waiting 6 months to get approved for work to relocate, I'm sitting in my new home, happier and lighter than, dare I say... Ever?
So I thought? Why not share my experience in hopes I can encourage someone who fears taking that big leap of faith?
The Lessons:
Other people DO NOT know what's best for you
It's either going to be the best or worst thing for you, but it's something you HAVE to do
When you're being called, answer it - God's got you
It's not as scary as your mind (or other people) make it out to be
What if it turns out better than expected? (It usually does)
Lesson One: Other people DO NOT know what's best for you
You can't take everyone's advice. Sometimes? That includes the people that you love and trust the most. Yes, I'm talking about your parents, your siblings, and some of your friends.
People give advice based on their own experiences, projections, and programming. 95% of the time, those factors are not and should not be relevant to you or the decisions you are making.
Your parent's past mistakes don't automatically mean they will be yours. Your sibling's life doesn't translate to manifesting in your reality. Your friends? While you love them dearly, they are still held up by their limitations, traumas, and ideals about life.
When it comes to big life decisions, you HAVE to follow your internal guidance system and let the ultimate decision be for YOU, not for others and how they look at life.
Lesson Two: It's either going to be the best or worst thing for you, but it's something you HAVE to do
Before making major life decisions, we often try to predict how it's going to turn out. Once we don't find the certainty, we end up staying still. The place where we stay may not be the best, but we convince ourselves it's better than the unknown simply because we've learned how to navigate it.
The flaw in this?
growth should always be a requirement for our lives, regardless if it turns out how we wanted it to be.
Why?
Staying in a known place, just because we know how to navigate it, isn't a win; it's a slow march to our energy's death.
Sure, you're convinced yourself you've experienced good things where you're at, but you'll always be wondering what if.
What if you would've chosen yourself?
What if you would've gotten your dream life?
What if there are things out there that don't make you compromise your dreams and desires?
An experience that doesn't turn out how you expected but forces growth? That's 1,000x easier to carry than wondering what moving to the next level would have been like.
Whenever you are drawn towards something, it will either be your biggest blessing or a lesson. Buckle up and allow those two in because you can't have one without the other.
Lesson Three: When you're being called, answer it - God's got you
We aren't drawn to things by accident. What we want wants us, too.
Even if it doesn't show up in the form we are used to. Sometimes, those random places, ideas, or people are exactly what we need to open us up to the bigger vision that we've had deep within us.
We may forget our dreams and prayers, but God doesn't. Sometimes, God will wait a few years of you being distracted before nudging or waking you up to make a move that realigns you to your purpose.
And those big callings? Those callings are your opportunity to flex your free will. God will never force you but will provide you with options. When you take the big leap of faith and answer the calling (like I did moving across the country without ever seeing the place I'm living in... by myself), God's got you. Always. Even when there are hiccups. Even when you run into a bump in the road.
Are you ready to pick up and answer the life calling you?
Lesson Four: It's not as scary as your mind (or other people) make it out to be
Fear loves to trick your brain into thinking everything is dangerous.
Not because it's malfunctioning. This is primal and stems back to when humans lived off the land. It's a natural intelligence that is naturally wired in us. While our society has evolved to live in luxury, our brains are still functioning on survival and looking for threats to protect ourselves.
This is just my theory, but we may have more anxiety now because we see more destruction and threats on a grand scale through news and social media. While many decades back, we only saw what was right in front of us, today, we see everything, from good and bad to the worst, happening everywhere on our phones.
Of course, fear is ruling our lives. Let's be honest, though; not every fearful thought or anxious feeling has to be deemed true.
It's not 85% of the time (and that's being generous).
This isn't to ignore your intuition but to challenge what you allow yourself to do. Some irrational thoughts and fears don't need to live rent-free in your mind.
When I was driving 2000 miles, staying in Airbnb and cabins (in the middle of the woods with no one around, might I add), my mind thought of every scary movie I'd ever seen. While no I won't urge you to run around without being mindful, I was so safe on my drive.
This isn't to say bad things don't happen, but is that a reason to keep yourself in a place that doesn't serve you? Is that an excuse to hold off on doing the things you're curious about?
Each place I made it out alive and happy (thank you, PTSD from movies and news) was a weight lifted off my shoulders.
Exposure therapy is FREE. Don't let the fears and projections of others hold you back.
It's true; bad things do happen. Let's not forget magical as fuck things happen as well! The risk is worth the reward (stay mindful and intentional).
Lesson Five: What if it turns out better than expected? (It usually does)
On the other side of your doubts, second-guessing, fears, and insecurities are a reality and experience better than you could have imagined. One that lets you explore dormant parts of yourself that your current reality could never handle.
If you stepped outside of your attachment to what is, including the same thoughts and beliefs you entertain, you could experience a reality supporting a version of you waiting to unfold.
I know it's cliche to say, what if it turned out better than expected? I know, every thought leader and "self-help guru" says it honestly.
What if it did?
What if your worst-case scenario spirals flipped, and you saw that things do turn out ok?
And what if you taking a big leap of faith didn't have to be extravagantly exciting? What if it just brought you to a space of being? Being happy and at peace, and being you.
Things turning out better than expected don't have to look like constant highs. Sometimes, it seems like coming home to yourself and relaxing into all that you are, effortlessly.
The most important lesson I've learned? Letting go of everything you've known to start somewhere that aligns with your identity, even if you don't know it yet, is okay. Sometimes (most of the time), you need space from the structures and systems in your life.
Those are the things that are keeping you from the next level. Not because they are bad (maybe they are), but because this next phase of your life requires you to live beyond the cycles you've lived in.
From a woman who left everything (except my favorite books, vinyl, and of course, my fur babies), drove across the country by herself, stayed in a cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere, and moved into a brand new space without ever seeing it - life is waiting for you. It's too fucking short not to try things out.
The traditional path? Choose a job, stick with it for half your life, and settle down (and settle in your marriage); that doesn't have to apply to you if you don't want it.
There is no timetable, no right path. Of course, be responsible, take care of the things you need to take care of (including yourself), but live your fucking life to the fullest and leave this planet AT LEAST trying.
Do you know what's worse than "failing"? Never trying at all and staying attached the addiction to mediocrity.
If you're waiting for a sign - let this be it.
Pack your bags, emotionally and physically. Pick up the calling and take that leap.
God's got you, and on the other side of risk is the best goddamn reward you will ever find.
And if it ends up not working out alongside your blessings, pause and ask who it helped you become.
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